1.Boys are dumb. You don’t tell me you love me and to text you on the bus and then disappear halfway through the bus ride. Sorry, hunny. That’s not how I operate.
2. Old people are pretty fuggin’ awesome, especially the old lady I worked with today who kept talking shit on people. You rule Lillian!
3. I should probably have my own TV show because I’m pretty funny. I’d watch me.